There is no scent in the world as sweet as a newborn, and no touch compares to baby's tiny hand grasping your finger, holding tight. Parenthood is a privilege that encompasses countless wonderful moments: the sounds of baby babbling, first smiles, watching baby crawl, toddle and walk, reading that special book cuddled together in bed, seeing the zoo animals through your child's eyes.

But as any experienced parent will attest, for each "magic moment" there is a "counter-moment," a time that tries one's patience, knowledge and commitment. Before baby happily coos and babbles in her crib, there may be weeks of coping with her normal but stressful newborn crying and fussing. Before enjoying baby's wonderful smiles, there are months of feeding, diapering, holding and rocking a baby who may not appear to differentiate you from the FedEx man. Along with the joy of watching your toddler walk, comes the never-ending responsibility of baby-proofing your home and keeping the exploring toddler safe. Parenthood is filled with joys and challenges at every stage of our child's development.

In two-parent families, the challenge is shared as parents strive to negotiate their different personal styles, histories, and perspectives on child rearing to become a cohesive parenting team. This is a difficult task, but if accomplished, the payoff is wonderful as each parent has the other as a partner and safety net. If mom is sick, dad can take over nighttime feedings, letting her sleep through. If mom becomes anxious, worrying about how many ounces of formula baby is taking, dad can reassure her that baby is gaining weight and doing well. Often parents take turns being the one to worry, or the one to reassure. It's not only worries that are shared; it's the details of daily life as well. One parent is good with numbers and is able to help with math homework, the other is an athlete and happily teaches her child to ride a bike. One parent takes baby to day care in the morning, and the other picks baby up at night. In the best of circumstances each parent is strengthened by the presence of a partner with whom to share the intense journey of child rearing.

How do single parents face the challenges of parenting? Just as each two-parent family is unique, so is every single-parent family. The personalities and endowments of the individuals as well as the distinctive circumstances determine how smoothly family life will proceed. Is the single parent a teen with a supportive extended family or a teen alone with no resources? Is the single parent a professional with financial means who chose this life path, or a woman with limited education unexpectedly pregnant? Is the single parent dealing with the painful break-up of a marriage compounded by financial strain, custody/visitation issues? Is the single parent a widow or widower coping with grief? Does the single parent have a network of supportive friends and relatives or few such resources? There are an infinite number of ways to "be" a partner in a two-parent family or to "be" a single parent. For single parents, however, whatever the circumstances, there is one salient issue: the primary responsibility for raising the child is yours alone. This is at times a great joy, at times a great burden, and always a great responsibility.

In a single parent family, as in any family, the goal is to raise a child who feels positively attached to his caregiver and is free enough from undue anxiety to play and learn. Of course, this good attachment situation can take place in a single parent family. Of course, one loving parent can raise a secure well- adjusted child. But remember that a child's good outcome rests on the availability of a parent who is consistently attuned to him and can handle the loving component of parenting as well as the limit setting component. Single parenting can be a challenge because in order to be available and give to our children, we need to be "given to" and supported ourselves. The "safety net" of the partner available in the two-parent family, someone with whom to share joys, worries, dinner, carpools, is absent. A different "safety net" must be created in single parent families. It's crucial to create a support system for help with parenting issues as well to meet normal adult needs for conversation and companionship. Please call upon your family members and friends for assistance if possible. Look for services such as single parent groups through churches, social service agencies, and park districts. No one should undertake the amazing journey of parenthood alone.